joysweeper

On Sunday, while shaving my legs, I accidentally cut off an entire ribbon of skin.  That was exciting.  It didn't hurt as much as I'd have thought, but there was a somewhat alarming amount of blood, and gaaaah the ribbon of skin was darker and fleshier than I'd have thought.

This is what comes of shorts season and demands that I shave my legs.

It took four band-aids, the normal kind which was also the only kind we had, to cover it.  And then today I discovered why it's not advised to keep a band-aid on a cut for three days.

Fun.

It stings.  Very annoying.

My new class schedule's crowded.  I just dropped Astronomy.  Sorry Carl Sagan, I'm curious and interested in it more than in another Art History or 2D Design, but I needed to drop something, and Astronomy was the one that wasn't necessary to being an art major.  They'd better offer it when I'm a senior.

I'm not happy with that, of course.  But that's part of being adult, isn't it?  Once you get old enough that you don't have someone telling you what to do, you find that you have to do it on your own.

In other news, after much introspection, I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual.  Men and women certainly can be attractive, but I've never wanted to actually have sex.  Or watch them have sex, for that matter.  I sometimes use words like "sexy" and "hot", but there seems to be a gap between thinking that about something and getting off to it.

Huh.

I believe that I am ill.

It is not fun.  Having just napped for about three hours, I'm not too sleepy right now, but I feel floaty and disconnected.  There are vague aches everywhere, pale fluid sensations  behind my eyes, my whole body is constantly cold, particularly my hands and feet.  The cats think I am a space heater.  Typically they don't lie down on me like this.  My eyes, at least, aren't aching right now.

One of the most reliable things, though, is that I've had an earworm all day.  I get songs stuck in my head all the time, but they typically leave before too long.  When I'm ill, I tend to get obsessed with something.  And now it's an annoying song.

Just as I promised last time, I'm trying to think of it as cyborg flu, but the lack of rather dark dreams and a really persistent delusion is making that exercise not so strong.  Hopefully this is a short illness.

In other news, my dad drove me back to Adrian yesterday to pick up something I'd forgotten to take with me last spring.  See, I hadn't known I was transferring, so I'd left some things there.  Since Adrian people are awesome, they boxed stuff up ad left it for me.  Also, Pi put one of my porcelain skeletons in the Student Show, and apparently people like it.  Visiting there again was both heartening and very sad.  On the one hand, apparently I knew a lot of people.  And they liked me!  And a dragon I put up on a blackboard which is pointing and has a speech balloon has not been erased, although people have put new words in its mouth and change them often.  When I went there, it generally got erased every few weeks and I'd put a new one.

On the other hand, there are all these changes already, and walking around seeing them made me feel old.  And people liked me there and knew who I am.  My student advisor and my boss looked out for me.  Eastern's not like that at all.  I always get the feeling that everyone at Eastern sees me as a number, a set of variables.  Aw, man, now I'm crying.  Damn cyborg flu is making me sentimental.

Sick tears don't taste like normal.  It is some kind of nonorganic lubricant.  I'll focus on that.

In other other news, I signed up for NaNoWriMo.

( Read more... )
So that's what I've been saying about doing things that I both want and don't want to do.  There's a "Harry Potter in the Park" thing.  Ride the mechanical bull; go there, hang around despite being uncomfortable around devoted fans of a series I think is just okay.  There's a blood drive on campus.  Ride the mechanical bull; go in, fill stuff out, don't back out.  There's a guy in a class reading a Discworld novel.  Ride the mechanical bull; go up and talk to him about Discworld.  Best friend's mother died; call her and be sympathetic.

Results so far have been mixed.

Last week the neighbors left and had us dogsit their remaining Rhodesian Ridgeback, Nina.  They had another one, but he was old and cancerous, and they put him to sleep a few weeks ago.  This was the first time since his death that Nina was without her owners for any length of time.  She's a nice enough dog, always happy to see me.  Couple years old.  Fawns a lot.  And after the first couple days, every time we put her in the crate for the night and let her out in the morning, she crapped it.

Yuck.

We ended up getting her antidiarrhea medicine, which seemed to work.  But then one evening she went and encountered a skunk.  Came back reeking and with a scratch on her muzzle.  Getting all the ingredients for the shampoo together and then getting it on her wasn't fun.  Oy.  Oddly, skunk isn't quite as bad as it's hyped up to be.  Nasty, yes, it smells partly like something burned.  But not what I'd thought.

Their house still reeks of skunk, though the dog herself no longer does.  The neighbors were extremely apologetic.  We had to take Nina to the vet to get her another anti-rabies shot, but fortunately that went on the neighbors' account and not ours.  They cut their vacation short and apologized some more.  Sooner or later we'll get paid.  Everything went wrong.  *laughs*

The day before we left for Chicago - we just came back - I had my brother drive me to the nearest haircut place, two miles away, to get my hair cut.  The line was long, so he went home.  My cell phone decided to break.  I walked back, and the experience has taught me that sandals are evil.  Seriously!  They are not designed for any amount of walking.  I ended up with all these blisters.

I still dislike my Chicago cousins, but we didn't stay too long this time.  Since I am apparently the only one in either family who wants to go, we did not see the Chicago Field Museum.  Again.  This also happened last year, when there was a temporary exhibit I really wanted to go to.  That year they went to the Botanical Gardens.  In what universe are gardens better than dinosaurs?!

This year we did at least go to this tiny reptile conservation place, which had some accomodating staff and a few reptiles that didn't mind being touched.  It's odd how soft and slick they were.  There was a rhinocerous iguana that apparently loved being petted.  She'd stand up straighter and close her eyes.  Her tail was a lot harder and rougher than the rest of her body, probably because of how iguanas use those tails as defensive weapons.

So that wasn't terrible.

( Youtube spam )


Dragons.

I remember discovering that I am very pro-vaccine.

It happened some time in grade school, when I was watching some program, I don't remember why or for what class, where there was a large family that was choosing not to vaccinate anyone, and wouldn't take them to the doctor when they were sick.  Because they didn't need medicine, God would take care of them.  But the schools wanted them to vaccinate their kids before admitting them.  And that was against their religion.

I just remember getting so angry.  I had those fevered revenge-fantasy style daydreams of Swat teams rappelling in and injecting them all.  Or of them all dying of the flu while whiiiiiiining that God would save them.

Looking back, I suppose that incident had something to do with the contempt I hold for anyone who points to God as someone directly guiding them and protecting them from harm.  You know, the ones for who medical treatment is against God, the ones who think a being that created the universe would care what someone eats or who they have sex with or the specific details of worship.  Or that every accomplishment is God's doing; human effort had nothing to do with it.

That kind of person... well, their God is meddlesome and mean-spirited, and I hope to hell that I'm more right than they are.  If I have a religion, it's Deist.  Someone, someones, or something either created the universe or set things up so it could form, maybe meddled somewhere down the line, and then backed off to either watch or went away to try something else.  I believe that there is something after death, and it's far less codified and far stranger than the Heaven/Hell/Purgatory thing.

Anyway, vaccines do not cause autism.

( Always with the Youtube spam )

This weekend, instead of going home I'm staying at Adrian for the Not For Sale conference.  They're here, apparently, because Adrian is some kind of abolitionist hotspot thanks to the people who lived here around the time of the Civil War.

Because somehow slavery still exists today.  A lot of it is because lots of foreign cops suck horribly and are so corrupt they might as well not exist, if the book is accurate.  Sigh.  Reading that book is... well, I know it's trying to push my buttons and spark my righteous outrage.  These days, though, I think I'm too tired for righteous outrage.  The world just sucks, and so do a lot of the people.  You can think of yourself as a good person and still do nothing.

This is probably what getting old feels like.  A little more than a month from now, and I'll be twenty.  I still don't know what I want to do with myself.

Drew a Cyborg Flu picture.  Sort of a mediocre likeness of me, but I wasn't really at my best anyway.

  



Surfing baxil's flist, finding this, deciding why not.  But putting a cut, 
because that is long and I dislike really long entries.  Why did the text change?  Stupid computer.

I found L-space and the Annotated Pratchett File.  ...Where did the time go?  My spring break ends tomorrow!

LJ is meant for fannish ramblings and moments of emo woe.  Might as well engage the latter.

I am unhappy and I don't know why.  It's upsetting.  Why am I unhappy?  What's changed lately?  Obama's inauguration is a positive thing.  I'm adjusting to a new college term, but I've been here three weeks, why am I unhappy now?  On that: I kinda dislike my new roommate.  She went to the Washington pro-life rally, though she voted Obama.  She does not recycle and eats constantly.  She snores.  She rubs up against the outside of the door, smearing my every-two-weeks charcoal dragon.  She's really loud in the mornings and at night, when I'm in bed.  She is also one of the college's five fat people, which - well, I have a dislike of obesity, okay?  Tolerance means allowing me to dislike it when someone eats constantly and claims to have "no time" to exercise.  BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS STUFFING YOUR FACE.  AND WHAT IS UP WITH THROWING AWAY LUNCH MEAT AND NOT TAKING THE TRASH BAG DOWNSTAIRS.  IT SMELLED AND I HAD TO DO IT YOURSELF, NOT THAT YOU NOTICED.  WTF BONBONS.  HOW CAN YOU FINISH A BOX IN THREE DAYS.

Why am I unhappy?  Is it classes?  I hate Art History modern-stuff with a passion.  It's the most useless thing and it stretches on for far longer than neccessary, and it's writing-intensive.  Meets once a week, though.  In AP Ceramics - yes, again - the clay is too wet to work with, so I feel ineffective and useless.  In 3D art we're on this wire project which involves welding.  I hate welding.  Aversion to fire.  Not a big complaint with the other classes.

In workstudy, my boss gave me some porcelain and told me to make flying bulldogs(bulldogs being the school mascot), "like monkeys from the Wizard of Oz, but bulldogs" so they can go into the cafeteria's project.  It shows confidence and appreciation of my skills, yes, and she likes the two she's seen so far, so why does this make me unhappy?  I don't get it.  Am I lonely again?

Probably.  Damn, I hate being lonely!  People annoy me pretty damn quickly.  How can I dislike people so much and still yearn for - something.  I don't know.  I probably miss touch or something.  Or I desperately want to fall in love.  Unhappiness sucks.  Normally when I'm unhappy or depressed, I can feel this happy something that won't be shaken.  I call it a column sometimes, because that's what it feels like - like my back is up against a pillar which is life is not bad, things will look better in the morning.  And no matter how bad it is, the column is there.  Things will come around again.  It takes a hit when I think about my future, but it doesn't go away.  And now it's as little as it's ever been, and as weak.  I don't like this.

I do feel better when I'm singing, though.  The column is bigger when I do that.  When I write, it gets smaller and more solid.  I don't know what's up with that.

Oh, and Comcast is made of fail.  I called five times last week trying to get it connected to this new room, and they failed every time.  Now I've realized that I don't actually need cable.  I'm going to try and tell them to discontinue my service.  They'll probably fail some more.

The dragon is a teen now.  Not long now and I can pick up a new egg.  I've given up on the forums at that site.  People are too stupid. 


( Youtube )

My schedule for the week.




Why does the Sun shine?


The guy who dances all over the world.  Wow.  I like how many people went and joined in.


An odd, sort of soft cover of the Iron Man song.





Something byanw  I found onmetaquotes :

"From here we can regroup the gay community and continue to work on Phase Two of the gay agenda. (The sinister Phase Two has actually been revised; it used to be 'get equal rights'. Now it's 'try not to have any more laws passed against us that will proactively prevent the possibility of equal rights in the future'. Phase One was 'stop getting beaten to death', and is also actually still ongoing.)"