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So, uh.
I have this friend. By default I suppose she's my best friend, even though I only talk to her four or five times a year. (This is what happens when your social skills are nonexistant.)
And her mother died of a stroke last Sunday. I called her a few times and said the standard lines - Oh God, I'm so sorry, are you okay, if there's anything I can do to help you - and she picked up the first time, I went to her voicemail the second two times. My parents had me buy a sympathy card from Hallmark. ...Trouble is, I don't know where she lives. I've been there a few times, I could recognize it if I saw it, but I don't know where it is. White Pages has a couple of possibilities, but I'm not actually sure if she lives there on Maple or at one of the other houses.
My parents also want me to go to the viewing and/or the funeral, if it hasn't happened yet. I'm extremely uncomfortable about this. I knew her mom, but only barely. This friend, she may be the closest friend I have, but that's not saying much. I'm completely at a loss about what's appropriate to say, other than those old phrases I've seen a thousand times in books. Calling people - calling anyone at all other than my parents - is one of those things that stresses me out more than anything as it is, and this just adds a whole new layer to "Gods, what do I say? I'm going to sound like a jerk - they probably don't like being called twice in a month - why do I never get called back? Do they hate me and are just too diplomatic to say it?"
In other news, I gave blood for the first time on Monday. Anticipation was much worse than the actual act. Anticipation and all the waiting, anyway. The vague sense of disassociation, like I'd gone too long without sleep, was a little disorienting, though. Unfortunately I am still afraid of needles. Guess I'll have to go back in November and let them do it again, once I've replenished the red blood cells. My grandfather was a committed blood donor.
I've started using the phrase "Ride the mechanical bull" after transfer student orientation. For some reason they had a mechanical bull set up in an inflatable pen, and kids were jumping on, clinging as it swiveled and bucked, and getting thrown off. I spent a long time staring, conflicted. On one hand, I'm uncoordinated anyway and would look ridiculous. On the other hand, everyone looked ridiculous. On the third hand, when the hell else was I going to get to ride a mechanical bull without a fuss and without having to pay for it? So I rode it, and it must have been fun because when I got up afterwards even though my pulse was insane I was grinning like a maniac and weirdly pleased.
So that's what I've been saying about doing things that I both want and don't want to do. There's a "Harry Potter in the Park" thing. Ride the mechanical bull; go there, hang around despite being uncomfortable around devoted fans of a series I think is just okay. There's a blood drive on campus. Ride the mechanical bull; go in, fill stuff out, don't back out. There's a guy in a class reading a Discworld novel. Ride the mechanical bull; go up and talk to him about Discworld. Best friend's mother died; call her and be sympathetic.
Results so far have been mixed.
I have this friend. By default I suppose she's my best friend, even though I only talk to her four or five times a year. (This is what happens when your social skills are nonexistant.)
And her mother died of a stroke last Sunday. I called her a few times and said the standard lines - Oh God, I'm so sorry, are you okay, if there's anything I can do to help you - and she picked up the first time, I went to her voicemail the second two times. My parents had me buy a sympathy card from Hallmark. ...Trouble is, I don't know where she lives. I've been there a few times, I could recognize it if I saw it, but I don't know where it is. White Pages has a couple of possibilities, but I'm not actually sure if she lives there on Maple or at one of the other houses.
My parents also want me to go to the viewing and/or the funeral, if it hasn't happened yet. I'm extremely uncomfortable about this. I knew her mom, but only barely. This friend, she may be the closest friend I have, but that's not saying much. I'm completely at a loss about what's appropriate to say, other than those old phrases I've seen a thousand times in books. Calling people - calling anyone at all other than my parents - is one of those things that stresses me out more than anything as it is, and this just adds a whole new layer to "Gods, what do I say? I'm going to sound like a jerk - they probably don't like being called twice in a month - why do I never get called back? Do they hate me and are just too diplomatic to say it?"
In other news, I gave blood for the first time on Monday. Anticipation was much worse than the actual act. Anticipation and all the waiting, anyway. The vague sense of disassociation, like I'd gone too long without sleep, was a little disorienting, though. Unfortunately I am still afraid of needles. Guess I'll have to go back in November and let them do it again, once I've replenished the red blood cells. My grandfather was a committed blood donor.
I've started using the phrase "Ride the mechanical bull" after transfer student orientation. For some reason they had a mechanical bull set up in an inflatable pen, and kids were jumping on, clinging as it swiveled and bucked, and getting thrown off. I spent a long time staring, conflicted. On one hand, I'm uncoordinated anyway and would look ridiculous. On the other hand, everyone looked ridiculous. On the third hand, when the hell else was I going to get to ride a mechanical bull without a fuss and without having to pay for it? So I rode it, and it must have been fun because when I got up afterwards even though my pulse was insane I was grinning like a maniac and weirdly pleased.
So that's what I've been saying about doing things that I both want and don't want to do. There's a "Harry Potter in the Park" thing. Ride the mechanical bull; go there, hang around despite being uncomfortable around devoted fans of a series I think is just okay. There's a blood drive on campus. Ride the mechanical bull; go in, fill stuff out, don't back out. There's a guy in a class reading a Discworld novel. Ride the mechanical bull; go up and talk to him about Discworld. Best friend's mother died; call her and be sympathetic.
Results so far have been mixed.
