(no subject)

[joysweeper]

Godot: You're saying that if something isn't normal, it simply isn't possible? Where does that leave the porcu-headed lawyer and the topknot chick over there... and the ungodly cool guy with the mask over here? Well, Trite?

(Godot is cool.  That visor glows in the dark and smokes when he's losing.  He can't see bloodstains.  When he's annoyed enough, he throws his cup of coffee at Phoenix Wright.)

Trials and Tribulations.  I LOVE THIS GAME!  For a small part of it, you PLAY AS MILES EDGEWORTH!

Normally, you're Phoenix Wright, the spiky-headed man in blue.  He's usually accompanied by the spirit medium Maya Fey.  During the investigative stage when they're examining things, Phoenix is usually the rational one, while Maya is completely off the wall, as in this exchange.

Maya: (examining part of a sign saying "bur") Aha, I've got it! Maybe it's supposed to say "Hamburger"
Phoenix: Why would anyone write "Hamburger" that big?
Maya: Like, maybe for the "World Hamburger Festival" or something?
Phoenix: I kinda doubt it.
Maya: Aha, I've got it! Maybe it said, 'Spaghetti?'
Phoenix: ...Why are you talking about food? Oh, wait. That's normal for you.
Anyway, it says, "bur". There's no way it could be "Spaghetti".
Maya: Well, maybe it was a typo! It might have said, "Spaghetti Festival". What do you think?
Phoenix: Ok to me... Besides, Spaghetti is the only thing more tangled than your reasoning.
or
Gumshoe: They called him "the walking computer" at the place where he worked.
Maya: What happens when he crashes though!? Does he stop moving all of a sudden?
Phoenix: *groan* (He wasn't a computer, Maya.)

At any rate, Edgeworth has a follower too, Gumshoe.  Edgey and Wright are both the "sane" ones, but they're rather different.  Wright, after Maya says something stupid, just mutters something in parentheses and doesn't bother correcting her.  Edgey is sharp-tongued, a little more formal, and Gumshoe is more dunce than crazy.  For that matter, Wright is more easily flustered, while Edgey has a temper.

Edgeworth: The camera is glaring at me. "If something glares at you, it's only polite to return the favor," is what I was taught. ...
Iris: Um... Is something bothering you?
Edgeworth: ...Hm? Oh, e-excuse me.

Edgeworth:[about Iris]  I feel like I've seen this girl somewhere before!  She wasn't from a prior case, was she?

Gumshoe: Nope, can't be.  We did a database search of her fingerprints and came up with nothing.

Edgeworth:  I see...  (I just can't shake this nagging feeling...)

Gumshoe: Well, everyone knows you are quite popular with the ladies, sir...  Maybe she's an old girlfriend that you sent to Dumpsville when you were younger.

Edgeworth:  D-Detective!  Where did you hear such nonsense from!?

Gumshoe: I didn't hear it from anyone.  It's just sorta how I imagine you to be... sir.

Edgeworth: (...D-Do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?)

[Yes.  Yes he does.]

Edgeworth:[referring to some flags on a line] What is this festive-looking ornament?

Larry Butz: It reminds me of art class in grade school. We used to have a lot of fun decorating the classroom with origami. Remember?

Edgeworth: W-Well, I...

Larry Butz: Oh, yeah... You never were any good at it.

Gumshoe: Really?

Larry Butz: Yeah, this guy was so bad, he couldn't even fold a dollar, let alone a crane. Everyone tried to comfort him, but he would just sit there sobbing.

Gumshoe: Really? I never would have expected that.

Edgeworth: Be quiet already! I'll never forget the shame of that day! You want a crane! I can now make a perfect quarter-inch crane without a single flaw!

Larry Butz: ... You know, Edgey... Nothing for nothing, but a quarter-inch crane without a single flaw is not easy.

Gumshoe: Yeah, that's quite a feat, Prosecutor Edgeworth!

Edgeworth: (Grr... This is exactly why I hate childhood friends...)

In his own way, he's just as much of a loser as Phoenix or Larry.  I also find it hilarious when he gets humiliated.

Edgeworth: How long were you in the bath for?

Bikini: My, my, my! What a filthy little rogue you are! I know what's on your mind!

Edgeworth: ...?

Bikini: Your next question is going to be "Where exactly did you wash," isn't it? Ah, THIS is why you have to watch the young ones.

Edgeworth: W-What are you going on about? I was just... *whip* ACK!

von Karma: Pathetic Miles Edgeworth...

Judge: The lowest of the low.

Edgeworth: Is there some sort of "Kick Me" sign stuck to the defense's bench!?

von Karma:  A foolishly foolish idea born from the foolish mind of a foolhardy foolish fool.

Unfortunately that section is pretty short, so I'm Wright again.  For a few scenes Phoenix's follower is Franciska von Karma.  Heh.

Phoenix:  It's an antique dresser.
von Karma:  Don't you dare open it, Phoenix Wright!
Phoenix:  (Now I know how Maya feels when I tell her not to touch things...)
von Karma:  ...  What a pity.  It's just full of old clothes for the acolytes.
Phoenix:  I thought we weren't opening it!
von Karma:  I'm from the Prosecutor's Office.  I can do anything.
Phoenix:  (Yeah, you can do anything.... except stand up to a nine-year old girl.)

There's a lot of very serious, saddening stuff going on too...  but I don't think I'm up to describing it.  Out of context, funny quotes are still funny, but serious ones?  Play the games, anyone who has a Nintendo DS.  Play the games.  I'm reduced to babbling EDGEWORTH AS A DEFENSE ATTORNEY, GHOSTFLAME MAGATAMA, GIANT GHOSTFLAME MAGATAMA, VISOR GLOWS IN THE EFFING DARK, VISOR GLOWS IN THE EFFING DARK, BLOOD TEARS, BLOOD TEARS, COFFEE CUP, COFFEE CUP over and over again.

It's bad of me, I know.  ZOMGFTATTL!  I LOVE THIS GAME!


This image, while not involved at all with this installment in the series, is still cool.