joysweeper

I have this weird desire to cuddle with something.

Today, I just... I just feel touch-starved. I feel like my skin has become all sensitive. I want to be touched. I want... I want to be hugged.

If I was at home, I could use the massager thing we got for my mom a year or so back. It wouldn't be the same, but it would be something.

We're not very huggy people, in my family. From my dad, the most that can ever be expected is a hand on my shoulder, if that. My mom, not even that - after we've had an argument she'll hug me, really fast and then letting go, but that's it. I'll play with my little sister's hair now and again. Probably the most touch was with my little brother, a few years back - if he was playing a video game and I was watching, sometimes he'd sit on the floor in front of me and ask me to put my feet on his back. No longer.

My parents, I'll kiss on the cheek when I'm saying goodbye. I remember once, when I was like twelve I was sick and I asked to be hugged, and I was. When I first came to college and my parents were about to go and I hugged them, they didn't like it, but too bad, damn it! When you're my age and nothing really bad has happened you are expected to cry for three reasons - graduation, first time at college, and romantic troubles. I have never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I didn't cry at graduation, but I was crying then. And the thought of my parents leaving me without a hug, even though I knew I would see them again in less than a week...

We're just not touchy people. And usually that's fine. I am not a people person. I don't think I've ever had a crush. Sometimes, though...

Jaquesy. I hope his wings come in soon.