Entry Two

Great. So, second day.

It is currently six nineteen A.M. and I am at peak alertness.

You know something I find irritating?

Teenagers. Yeah, I know, I'm one of them, but I [i]like[/i] my delusions of difference.

Teenagers get up at noon- AT NOON- drive recklessly, have constant intercourse, brag about the most [i]inane[/i] of "achievements", function with excruiciatingly limited vocabularies starting with slang and swear words, obsess over their appearances, have the stupidest clique rules, blow off school, ignore any common wisdom that they might once have possessed, fixate on celebrities, party into the dawn hours...

Or at least the ones at my school do. *shudder* I feel like an alien.

Hmm. Could be because I'm an Aspy. I have Asperger's Syndrome, or at least I've been diagnosed with it. It's a form of high-functioning autism. Most Aspies don't know to look people in the eye, will talk over others, use complicated words, and can't read facial expressions. I'm not sure about me.

The more I hear about the symptoms of Aspergers, the more I feel tempted to emulate them. Probably a bad thing.

I also tend to anthropomorphisize things a bit much. Livejournal, will you be my sounding board please? Okay, thank you! I promise not to swear profusely or gabble about makeup. All right? Good.

My spelling and grammar are pretty decent. For some reason I can't help but pick out errors. Usually if I twist my sentance structures it's on purpose, and when I spell something wrong it's either because I get "i" and "e" out of order(Weird, wierd) or because of words that could repeat letters. (Grateful..l)

Evidentaly, I ramble too.

Post Three

Scree... oh, screee...

I'm playing Kotor Two.

I read, once, about dissociative disorder.

Everybody dissociates from reality from time to time. If you're reading a book, watching a movie, talking to someone or whatever, you sometimes forget who you are. Your world, your prespective, shifts, and rather drastically.

You can get lost in books, movies. And also in games. Dissacoiating yourself from what is "real".

And yes, LJ, I say it with quotes.

Kotor Two. K2: TSL. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic Two: The Sith Lords.

Bliss.

Utter bliss.

I am nothing; I am no one. There is only the Exile. Just as, with the first game, there was only...

And it is good.

If this is what alcoholics feel, I can forgive them a little ways.

Of course, it's for the Xbox. My computer- a rather well-behaved Dell- must be treated with care.

Even as I love K2: TSL with all my heart and soul, I hate its surrogate mother, Obsidian.

Look, I'm glad that they made the game. But they did not finish it! So many sidequests that can never be completed. So many characters that were only partially developed. So many details that must lie fallow, waiting a planting that can never begin.

Or should I blame LucasArts for this?

Why do I need blame anything at all? I want to go back. Bliss, the peace of _not being_.

Unfortunately, no amount of dissassociation(and I know that's spelled wrong) wipes the fact that yes, I have a body, and yes, it needs to disentangle from the controller and screen now and then.

Besides, there is the matter of Psychology Class.

But... ohhhhh, soon I shall be on Nar Shadda, with Mira the former Mandalorian Slave(now a bounty hunter. I like that.), and then after picking up that hunk of snotty junk G0-T0 it will be to Onderon, to Dxun, and proving myself to the current Mandalore.

I like him. It is pitifully obvious that he is- or was- Canderous Ordo. The voice is the same, if more quirky and wry and filtered through the helmet. And he talkes about Clan Ordo. More than a bit.

Oh, I love the passion as he says "The Mandalorians still live! Clan Ordo still lives!" Screee. Good thing Kreia goads him instead of me. You need a traitorous dark manipulator now and again.

And- am I hearing- oh, _sheka_, my little brother is on the Xbox. Halo 2; using Live. Feh. It's not that I dislike Halo... far from it... but...

Feh. I have no more excuses. Psych homework calls, and I must answer or perish on Monday.